Not for the weak

I caught a commercial the other day. One that sounded familiar. Oh, yeah! I auditioned for that!

And, oh, look! There’s the other guy that was at the callback. Huh. I guess he got it. Good for him. I can see why they cast him. His take on it was a little less comedic than mine, more natural. He’s younger than me. Thinner, too. And he has hair…

Suddenly, a black hole opens up.

It’s easy enough to fall into one without the encouragement of outside forces. The saving grace was, the girl I had read with at my first reading and the callback booked the role. And she deserved it, she was sweet and very genuine. So, yay for her. That made me glad.

Over it.

Then yesterday, I get an email for an audition for something I had self-submitted for. $7,000 + 20% for a two-day shoot with 3 years exclusivity. Can you come in tomorrow? I respond immediately, “Great! See you then!” SEND. Buoyant! Ebullient, even.

Oh, wait. Don’t get carried away. You’d better check and see if there are sides or special instructions or whatnot. I log back into the casting site. Nope, no sides–photo shoot. [That’s right, I’m a model, y’all.] Shoots Thursday/Friday next week. Fuuuucccckkkk!

You’re unavailable, dipshit. You have to travel for work. Email them immediately, sorry I’m a doody head. I won’t be available for the shoot. Sorry. SORRY sorry sorry….

I could have used that cash, too. Who couldn’t really? Oh, well…

And again. Lather, rinse, repeat. This is not a career path for emotionally fragile people. True story.